What I will advise you to do is use your mind for something good and not the bad. There are some people that do bad things out of respect from good people. Don’t be like them. Make yourself useful by finding a career you will have a passion for. There are some that do stupid things and end up in worse places. They struggle. When you find something good to do by making yourself useful. You will not struggle anymore and neither will you be tormented by it. Doing bad things make you torment yourself and end up ruining your life. Find God and let him help you be guided by the light by doing good things and good deeds. Don’t make yourself the evil person. Be a good person. Be concerned about your well being. Live like a normal person. Most important is to be yourself and do good things.